Friday, November 27, 2009
When you degenerate into a jingxian
You write a poem-
ZenAnd when you get something,
You just want more -
So I ask for less,
But with so little life's just a bore.
Had so little it bored me to tears,
Or was I just crying out of my fears?
For what happened next only one else should know
In the end, i'm my deepest foe.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Kittydetective tries to uncover the truth behind maplestory
According to Wikipedia
South East Asia (mostly Singapore and Malaysia) since June 2005, 550 thousand subscribers.
Were you one of them?
The creation of Maplestory is a mystery to both intellectuals and
retarded Maplestory players alike. What pushed that
fucked up company to create such a
an abomination piece of genius?
We attempt to re-enact the scene.
Maplestory Development Team Member A (From now on referred to simply as A)
: We need something cute! Something that will sell to masses of people!
B: Hmm... how about teddybears and ponies and shiny stars?
A: No, those would lack appeal to boys!
B: Awww I really want a po...
A: I KNOW!!! We could have lots of snails and mushrooms!!! Those are cute!!!
B: Ok... so those mushrooms might be friendly enough to hang out with old man.. but the snail..
A: Just look at it! Cutely wiggling its multiple slimy tentacles around wanting to suck you dry! Doesn't it resemble this?
B: Ok, STOP. Just STOP - those snails are even more... whatever, lets put the awesome graphics engine aside and think about the gameplay.
A: Ok sure, we need something that will draw the players in.. something tactical.. something interesting.. some FAST PACED ACTION!!
B: Hmm... you mean something revolutionary like runescape?
A: Yes.. i know... we could make this MMO play without a mouse!!!
B: Wow, then it'll be like an action game!!!
A: Exactly!!! But won't people get bored of an action game if it is cleared too fast?
B: I know!! We can make snails give 1exp and make the exp required to level up scale exponentially, starting with 200% from level 1 to level 2!!! We could also set the level cap at 200, then raise the level by 100 levels everytime someone maxed out their levels!!
A: You dumbshit!!! We can't put all the monsters as snails!! It would be too boring!!! They must look different.. and act different!!!
B: I know!! We could introduce many zones with many DIFFERENT monsters who all attack our player!!!
A: How would they attack?? I'm guessing the mushrooms SHOOT their spores out, liek pewpewzz and the snails can use roll up into a ball and crush the player!!!
B: You dumbshit!!! Don't you know how mushrooms attack?
A: Err... they don't really attack in real life..
B: Have you never played MARIO?
And thus...
Was born.
P.S The pony idea however, was not abandoned. B eventually broke off to create his own pony related game here - http://www.ponystars.com/
Its like neopets, but with
PONIES. How awesome is that?
